St. Paddy’s Day 2024

Journal 115 4-17 March 2024

St Paddy’s, or as my friends and I used to call it “amateur night.”

My drinking days are mostly in the past, but I still have some fond memories of the night. Now, its just an excuse for soda bread and corned beef.

And yes, I know the origins of corned beef among the American Irish and not in Ireland. So, I don’t need the comments about how that’s not how its “really done.”

Also, despite having an Italian last name, I am still a quarter Irish, no need to judge me on that side either.

No, if you must judge me, you need only realize I still have not written anything other than these blogs this year. I haven’t worked on games, I haven’t worked on the novel, and I didn’t do the revision work that I swore I would start last blog.

I’ve been bad so far this year.

Revision Plans

I swore up and down I would start revision on the last novel and set a date for the start of the next. I even went so far as to get a new keyboard to use with my laptop, so I didn’t have to work at my desk.

All of my discipline has been going into going to my PT sessions and watching tons of foreign TV. And you probably say, what the F#@! does foreign TV have to do with revision or writing?

Cocoon of Sound

The thing is I always write with either movies playing in the background, old tv shows, or recently actual-play podcasts. They’re noise in the room while I work and when I need to get up and stretch, I have something to pay attention to. I never work in total silence.

I’m even like this while I read. Rarely ever in total silence, though sometimes I will. I think it’s just because I spend so much time alone, the sound of the TV fills in for human contact.

Because I spend all my time reading subtitles I first slowed and stopped reading books… now it’s taking up my writing time as well.

Oscillation

I’d say it was a problem, except that my hobbies cycle. In another month or so I’ll probably skip watching foreign shows for a month or two, and during that time I’ll read some books, or work on models, or finally get my ass in the chair writing again.

My old friend, Thom Erb calls it oscillating and named his office Oscillation Studios. I keep trying to do everything, every week, and have been failing. I plan to cut my days into 2-hour blocks. Write. Draw maps or other art. Read. Watch a movie or k-drama. Two, four, six, eight hours, done. But I usually end up just watching a k-drama, getting hooked and binging 8-hours’ worth of episodes and wondering why I didn’t eat anything all day.

Today’s Plan…?

Even today, I’m writing this post and doing laundry, but thinking about watching my current drama… when I should really be thinking of doing a couple hours of revision and I have some paint work to start.

What will I really do?

I can already fell myself turning away from the schedule, and I haven’t even written the schedule yet. Excuses pile up before me.

Imposter Syndrome. Procrastination. Excuses. Depression.

These are the banes of writers… at least in my experience and among my circle or peers.

I don’t even have a good excuse. Because if I wasn’t watching a k-drama today, I would probably spend the day reading a bunch of comics…. And now that I mention that… I feel the pull toward reading a bunch of comics. Playing catch-up.

Original thoughts for this Blog

I had an idea to write about the writing on k-dramas. The tools they employ to manipulate their viewers. (I also wanted to comment on how a lot of other viewers ignore these manipulations).

For example, I wanted to go through a list of observations on how certain shows will mark a character as the “Second guy” in a love triangle. Often the main male lead is introed to the viewer first, so you connect with the first pairing you see.

But sometimes they are a little more subtle… and yet I still see people who ship the wrong pairs when the review or comment. I chalk most of that up to either A. Lack of paying attention to the narrative, or B. Shallowness, where people just find the second guy pretty and thus the ship them.

I don’t mean to sound like a jerk in that way stated both of those. I have in the past (and present) been swayed by the pretty girl in dramas (wrestling, comics, etc) and just “liked” them because they were pretty and forgave them for being evil.

But I’m digressing.

I was originally going to talk about the former point.

Paying Attention to the Narrative

I might not be writing right now, but I sure am paying attention to how other stories are told. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I would have delivered on a premise/plot. How I might have written a scene. I think it was Stephen King (and I know it was several other authors who also told me this advice) but ALL of them talk about “Active reading.”

Predicting narrative, seeing symbolism, finding the theme, and other such skills. I do it with all media now.

So, going back to the k-drama and some of the tools they use to mark a character. I recently watched a drama where they introed the second guy first… well I should say they showed the second guy with the FL (Female Lead) first. And his intro was as a total jerk. He was the annoying neighbor that is way too involved in the woman’s life, who delivered a package to her work (unasked for), opened it and took a portion of the contents (as payment for bringing the package), and unapologetically ruined her day and was oblivious to hardships he just caused her.

Immediately, he’s coded as a bit of a scumbag.

The next episodes then try to paint this as “comedy” and that he’s pretty good to her and a close friend. And that in the past she tried to come-on to him. But of course, about half way thru and all the way until the last 15 minutes of the last episode he is suddenly a very real “love interest” who she might have to choose between.

The choice is a bit of a farce when the entire rest of the show clearly puts her with the other male lead. But the show forces you to think she might go the other way all the way to the end. Very annoying.

The more I watch, I’ve started delving into older shows and more and more there are toxic traits in so many characters that it gets a little disheartening.

Toxic dudes written as “romantic”

Guys who are rejected but still keep showing up and talking about how they are still getting married. Or simply ignore the rejections or negative words, and try to make “romantic” that they are going to “allow the woman to think it through longer and still be here when needed.”

I watched a show with a nice guy second male… like really, he was alright, but at the same time he was a clueless idiot who bordered on jerk with his behavior. This guy hadn’t seen the FL in 15 years, just came back to the country and reconnected. He kept trying to be helpful, and he was there when she needed, and kept asking her to food or other things.

I’ll cut to the chase, this guy never confesses that he had a crush when they were kids, never actually gets her out on one of these dates, knows she is seeing another guy (but refuses to think she really likes that guy)… he’s also leaving the country again in a month, and he goes out an buys a ring to propose!

Seriously?

WTF? I will state again, they have not actually gone on a date. Other than having some ice cream or beers together as friends, they have not gone on a date and he is only here for 2 months. He buys a ring to propose.

Why? Just why. His first crush when he was like 8 years old is enough that he can force himself into her life, try to be a champion, and think of proposing (while ignoring three other problems in his life)… and yet he’s never dated her, she’s friend-zoned him pretty hard, and she’s seeing another guy. And when he does confess finally, she outright tells him he was always just a friend and she never saw him even as a man.

So of course, a little later when she’s having a hard time, she considers him a man for just a little bit. Sigh.

It all worked out by the end of the show, but Jesus.

Ha… I said I wasn’t going to write on this subject. Ha.

In case I haven’t been clear I really loathe love triangles… even more so when one of the characters is written with toxic traits… or what I perceive as toxic.

Another Example

I watched a movie with a guy who never treated the FL as a woman. She was a friend that he kept in “reserve” (I feel). He ignored her feelings when they were young, he ran off to live in Paris, and basically whenever he was miserable, he would use her as a sounding board.

When she finds a guy and he comes back from Paris and he’s feeling bad he decides to use her. He’s upset she has a guy and starts admitting that he always liked her, and we have a fight between the two guys where she agrees to go on a date with each of them and see what it would be like.

She dates the “bad guy” and he brings her home, and he has a room full of artwork. The fact that he does art is a hidden talent and his rich family is against it. So sweet. (not)

Creep Factor

All of his art has these huge numbers painted over the scenes. And all of the scenes are taken from events they shared together in their past. The numbers are like…4 times I thought I should have dated you instead of these other girls… 7 times I took you to the amusement park… 21 how old you were when I left you for Paris. 8 years I was in hell (in Paris dating super models and spending money like water).

The scene is delivered as “extremely romantic” but I watched the whole thing thinking this guy was a creepy stalker. The numbers are worse than the examples I gave because my memory is dim, but some of them are deeply personal to her and things she would NOT have told him. Creep. Creep.

I almost made a note to not watch anything else the writer of the show wrote if she thought that creepy behavior like this is “romantic.”

I will admit that I originally thought the show was written by a man… but it was not.

Enough

Ok, I’ve prattled on enough about that.

I’ll try to get my thoughts together better next time. I might be doing a post next week, because the week after is Easter and I won’t be home for the weekend and don’t know if I really want to pull out the laptop and do a post while seeing my family. We’ll see what happens.

I got a bunch of reads on the last post so it was kind of nice to see so many of you coming back and giving the blog a read. I’ve been in an odd state. Not really writing, not keeping this page up as well as I used to, and even debating the merits and cost of keeping it going.

But I like having the guilt that drives me to keep making these posts.

Be well, don’t drink more than your liver can handle and if I don’t post for a few weeks, enjoy your Easter.