Still Don’t Have my $#!t Together

Journal 90 1-14 May 2023

I’m getting disgusted with myself. Still no writing, but plenty of other things going on. I have a whole litany of excuses and reasons why my time has gone elsewhere.

I feel like I’m repeating myself. Every week, or every other when I decide to skip a week, I come on here and just put up my excuses and make a vow about how I’ll change things in the coming weeks and I fail to do so.

And no matter how good my excuses I still feel miserable about it. I can think back through the week and point out an hour here and an hour there were I could have written. Even just jotted notes or worked on more world building. Hindsight is 20/20.

The Litany

But in my defense, when I skipped a writing day to “do it tomorrow” or over the weekend… I didn’t think that that my car would die and the timing chain would tear apart my engine, leaving me without a car and struggling to find a way to work.

Nor that in-order to get to work I would get picked up, dropped off and spend the better part of the weekend staying out so I could be at work for Free Comic Book Day weekend.

(Thur., Sat., and Sunday all gone from my writing time).

And of course, I didn’t quite expect (though it happens every year) that my back would go out because of FCBD. Nor that I would further aggravate my back during the week trying to work on a side project. Thus, taking away another writing day.

And then my best friend’s wedding and now I’m here writing this on a Sunday morning… on Mother’s Day, with my back still out. I’m sitting at my writing desk and I don’t know what it is about my desk chair, but it ALWAYS triggers my spine damage. I might need to change the cushions back to the orthopedic ones (the chair is brand new so I didn’t think it needed it).

What Have I Even Accomplished?

I have been working on side projects. Non-writing work. I started a model of the Enterprise (full on photoetch, aztek painting, lighting kit) and I have been watching a bunch of Star Trek TV. IN the last three weeks I managed to finish all of Lower Decks, the first couple episodes of Strange New Worlds, and the full first season of the original series.

I’ve paid attention to a lot of the details. The interesting lighting where they place bars of light across characters eyes as they talk. The odd camera angles where the camera flows through the set or on a character’s shoulder or side. The repetition in plots/stories is amusing.

Season 1 we have Landrau a computer who controls all the people in a city. Season 2 has Vaal a machine that controls an entire planet. S1 has Tralaine who can teleport, create things at will, and affect the Enterprise with a snap of his fingers. Then we have Apollo and the trans-dimensional people in “Catspaw” who can do the same things. I like to think that the show is just channeling Clarke in that “advanced tech looks like magic.”

As much as the same plots keep coming up or very similar villains, I find the old show very rewatchable. So much so, that YES it has eaten into my writing time.

Normally I would try to make notes, or outline things with the TV on. Just using the TV for background noise, but I find myself watching the episodes. I haven’t been reading during it either.

Writing Adjacent

I have been working on some gaming material. Nothing special just some adventure notes and research. And I bought a new pad for mapping. I did sit down twice to start writing some notes and material for the next novel (I know… finish this one first) but I didn’t accomplish much between the back pain, stress of losing my car, and all the rest.

But enough of excuses.

I have even been skipping these blogs because I have nothing much to report. I need to get my shit in order and get back on track. This site is meant to both showcase work, and hold me accountable, and I’ve done neither with it.

I’ll make no special vows or list a bunch of goals here, now. I will instead endeavor to always do better and perhaps next week I’ll have a something to talk about. Perhaps words will have been written and the novel will progress. I will have some gaming notes to talk about in a week or two and I still want to put together the notes on DUSK.

We’ll see what happens, together.