Advice: Learn from my Mistake.
Wasted opportunities, learning from my mistakes. While this site is not about mental illness we will touch on depression, PTSD, self-sabotage, and how most writers seem to be introverts. This particular post is meant as a “Don’t make the same mistakes I have.”
Forced Socializing.
Staying in touch with people and actually talking to strangers are part of being a writer. If you’re doing signings or going to conventions/ conferences then you need a small amount of ability to talk to strangers. You also need the confidence to follow up on those talks and keep correspondence open. For some of you reading this you might be laughing, those things are easy. But many writers… and specifically myself fall into a category where writing an email, especially to someone we don’t know at all, or have only just met, is actually a hard task. There are people I have known for years and who I think of as friends. People I have spent time with, eaten meals with, argued over movies and books… and yet my feelings upon trying to write them an email or call them, is fear that I am interrupting their lives.
This can make life as a writer hard. You find pitching a book, querying agents, seeking advice from peers or mentors, etc., to be one of the hardest things on earth. So, let me tell you about the time I blew the biggest opportunity of my fledgling writing career, and how really, I’m practically starting over now.
Learn from my Mistake:
It was many years ago and I only had a handful of conventions under my belt. I was able to start conversations with strangers and at least pretend to be more extroverted (for a while). I was in a seminar where the, then, head of Epic Fantasy for Tor (my goal publishing house) was talking about the numbers. Basically, how much an unknown author could expect on an advance, how much more an agent could make that better, what the structure for royalties were. All of that. At the end of the class he handed out his business card and told us we could pitch him directly if we ever had something ready.
I was feeling good. At the time I was writing a novel called In the Depths of Amon Niall and I had a series of books loosely planned to follow it, two or three more books; maybe as many as five. I was 90k words into the book and this was a world I had, at that time, spent 20 years developing, so I had a lot going on.
No Guts no Glory:
I sidled up and talked with the Head Editor (no names here as he has moved on from the company). Talked about my world, talked about my favorite books from Tor (I just started reading Erikson at this time and I had 100s of other Tor books on my shelves), and we hit it off.
He asked me what I was working on, if I had a novel ready, and I told him I had a novel well underway but not finished and that I had a series planned for after it.
He said that was good, because at that time Tor was really interested in finding more people who could do a 10-book run, instead of a standalone. On the spot I told him I had actually planned my series as Duology, a standalone, and then five (or maybe 7) book series. All the same world, all the same timeline, just progressing through the story.
The conceit was each book would step up the scope and difficulty. So, book 1 was only 2 POVs and set in a small country, book 2 would be more POVs and would involve war between neighboring countries. Book three would progress the timeline 100 years, introduce a new continent across the ocean and by the time I got to the series it would-be all-out war across most of the world.
Just like that Head Editor asked if I had his business card, of course I had it, I had just gotten out of his seminar. He wrote down my name and information and told me to finish the novel and send it to him, I had a free pass from the slush pile.
Oh, happy day!
The PUNCHline:
Ready for the punchline to this story? I had a lot of book still to write and in those days, I was working full time and in the gym 20 hours a week and really only wrote on and off. Life also threw me some curve balls and I got laid off, had to slink back to my old job, and then had a falling out with my roommate and had to find a place to live.
Years went by before I completed the book and I found myself going to less conventions due to the job change and housing issues. My confidence went back down and I sat on that pitch and the pass out of the slush pile for so long. I never actually submitted the book, and years later when I did get back the confidence and started writing regular, I went and found out that that Editor was no longer with Tor and my chance had gone away because I allowed myself to doubt.
Why?
Some of you are wondering why I’m telling this story. It’s because I want to help people. If you have issues with your confidence, if talking to strangers scares you (I still can’t handle public speaking), if you feel you’re the ONLY introvert artist out there… let me assure you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Start small. Go to a small convention. Met a few people and talk with them. Go to a writer signing or speaking engagement. They are usually small and intimate. Meet a few people and your comfort will grow, and remember:
AN EMAIL IS NOT INVASIVE. Put that in writing, put it somewhere near your desk. Reach out to people, ask for advice, follow up. Don’t let the fear rule you, rule the fear.